The Evil Dead: Necronomicon Pizza and Candarian Blackberry Trifle

                     The Ultimate Experience in Grueling Terror (and Truly Horror-ific Goodies)

                                                   evil-dead-movie-poster-small

            Can they be stopped? Candarian demons. Hmm….maybe. 

            The remakes?

No. But Bruce Campbell is assuring remake skeptics like me that the latest revisioning of The Evil Dead is not one to miss or to reckon with.

ED-Gonna Get you cellar

An image that’s scared me since 1981!

I’m taking his word for it. After all, he is THE original Ash. Although, did you know Ash isn’t even a character in the newest version? Nope; and I’m glad for it. Seriously, who could “they” possibly put in Campbell’s shoes? I’m certain “they” didn’t want that angry mob surging up against them in the sticky theater aisles. I guess that’s the first reason I’m putting aside my snide remake remarks and focusing on the positives.

My second reason is again thanks to Bruce. In his not-gonna-bullcrap-ya style, Mr. Campbell promises a stylishly scary take on the cult classic that is reminiscent of old school horror. He guarantees there will be no trash-talking, no jokes, and no silly jump gimmicks. Just pure unadulterated grueling terror. Like in the old days.

I will unsurprisingly take his word on it. Mr. Campbell and Mr. Raimi have never done me wrong.

Happy Demon possessed

One Happily Possessed Gal

But does fresh-faced director, Fede Alvarez, have that in him?  A newbie to the genre, can he take a handful of Sam Raimi and mold it into a worthy competitor, dueling for a seat next to the original?? Without resorting to the cheap scare tactics of today’s horror movie makers.

I’m pulling the paper from my countdown chain to find out. Only three days left!! Hopefully, I’ll see you there this Friday, April 5th, for the most important movie of 2013 (in my world), The Evil Dead.

In the meantime, let’s gather ‘round the flat screen for a titillating re-showing of the 1981 original; made utterly perfect by its wobbly plot, questionable actors, and enough spasmodic 80’s gore to gag ya!…Oh, and don’t forget the goodies!

the new cellar dweller...

the new cellar dweller…

The Recipes:  What’s a movie night without pizza? Laammme. Sick of plain ole sausage and pepperoni? Boorriing. I got just what you need to get in the Deadite mood.

Necronomicon Pizza, anyone? I promise it’s not made of human flesh, but it does have a rather spooktacular dough and toppings face! I’ve seen this crazy pizza picture floating around the internet amongst the Horror Crowd, and I decided to try my hand at it just for the Horror Congress fans. Follow it up with a serving of rich, decadent Candarian Blackberry Trifle for dessert. But I warn you, beware the size and quantities of your spoonful. This dark delight sits heavy in the belly. Eat too much, and it may just swallow your soul… (Sorry. It had to be said.)

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Necronomicon Pizza

(Serves at least 8 friends…stranded in a cabin…with an oven)

Ingredients:

2 tubes of refrigerated pizza dough OR 2 quantities of your fave homemade dough recipe

1 jar marinara sauce (big or small jar depending on how much sauce you prefer)

1 small jar chopped black olives

3 cloves garlic

1 package pepperoni

2-3 jalapenos (sliced) don’t forget your gloves!!

1 (2cup) bag of mozzarella cheese (or shred your own)

Equipment: Nonstick baking spray, cookie sheet, pizza cutter, my photo as a necessary guide

How to Make It:

Lightly prep the pan with nonstick spray. Untube or prepare the dough. Press one tube/quantity of dough into the pan, stretching it lightly as to not tear holes. Now, for the fun! Tear pieces of dough from the other tube/quantity, and like playdoh, begin to mold the pieces of your pizza face, using my photo as a guide. (I can’t really “tell” you how to do it, you just have to dig in!) I recommend pre-baking the pizza at 425 degrees for about 6-7 minutes.

The pre-baked version

The pre-baked version

Remove from the oven and start the topping process. Spoon the sauce over your face, careful to cover the elevated facial features sparsely. Add your pepperoni and jalapeno slices, again, leaving the facial features topping-less. Next, fill in the mouth with the olives. Carefully sliver 1 garlic clove to resemble tiny, sharp teeth. Add them to the mouth, creating a jagged effect. Use the remaining garlic to fill in the eye holes. Smother the face with cheese, again being cautious not to cover the elevated pieces. Bake again on 425 degrees until the cheese is nice and melty (I check it every 3-5 mins; usually takes about 12-15 minutes.)

Note: Remember, take a picture before cutting into it!!

Candarian Blackberry Trifle
nice view blackberry trifle(Serves 8-10 demon possessed souls)

Ingredients:
1 quantity of your favorite brownie recipe (box mix NOT recommended. I’m a dessert snob like that).

1 8oz container mascarpone cheese

½ c Dutch-processed cocoa powder

¼ c cornstarch

1 ¼ c sugar

¼ tsp salt

1/3 c unsalted butter (chopped into pieces)

2 tsp vanilla

2 ½ c milk

1 pint container fresh blackberries

Equipment: Trifle dessert bowl or fairly wide glass serving bowl, plastic wrap

How to Make It:

Bake the brownies according to your recipe.

In the meantime, make the chocolate pudding: Start by whisking together the sugar, cocoa, cornstarch, and salt in a medium saucepan. Slowly add in the milk and cook, stirring all the time over a medium heat. After the pudding starts to boil and begins to thicken in about 10 minutes, reduce the heat, but cook another 2 mins. Remove from heat and carefully stir in the butter pieces and vanilla until the butter melts. Place a piece of plastic wrap directly on to the top of the warm pudding and allow it to cool for about 10 minutes. The plastic wrap will prevent a nasty skin from forming over the top. When the pudding is cool, gently fold in the entire container of mascarpone cheese until well blended.

Assemble the trifle: Crumble the cooled brownies. Add half of the brownie crumbles to cover the bottom of your trifle dish. Top the brownie layer with half of the pudding-mascarpone mix. Add half the pint of blackberries. Gently add the remaining brownie crumbles atop the blackberries. Smooth the remaining pudding mix atop the crumbles. Finally, add the remaining blackberries, piled nicely in the center of the pudding.

side view

Enjoy!blackberries on top

Hint: You can always make instant box pudding for the recipe. You would need 2 small boxes or 1 large box. I don’t remember the instant pudding method as the cooked homemade version is so much darker and svelte.

Horror Congress Friends, feel free to cut loose with your thoughts and opinions about the new Evil Dead remake, these recipes, or just anything horror-ific that’s lurking around your mind….

Until next time, stay spooky, my fiends!

 

Zombieland: Tallahassee “Twinkie” Snack Cakes

                                                                      For Twinkie lovers, it’s not the end of the world.      

Good news! We survived two potential apocalypses in 2012- The predicted rapture of May 21st (or 22nd?) and the Mayan Calendar Ending Event of December 21st. Unfortunately, one catastrophe we could not avoid was the demise of one beloved iconic American classic, the Hostess snack cake. This calamity will forever be known as The Twinkie Apocalypse.

ZOMBIELAND-zombieland-20358731-1280-1024

With all the apocalypse craziness erupting all over the year 2012, one scary baker cannot help but be reminded of the zombie apocalypse that strikes the world in the horror comedy, Zombieland. And with the downfall of our dearly coveted snack cakes, who could not seriously think of the surly zombie stomper, Tallahassee, as he rumbles across America not only beating zombie arse, but looking for a gosh darn Twinkie to munch.Twinkies+Discountinued.+I+feel+for+you+Tallahassee+I+really+do_4cb594_4241098

 

Perhaps this movie is some sort of prophetic vision brought to us by the luminous minds of Zombieland writers, Reese and Wernick? With Twinkies and Ding Dongs and HoHos now extinct, will 2013 be the year of infection??  If so, I urge you to polish off your dust-collecting copy of Zombieland and view it not only for its dashing entertainment, but also as a preparation guide for bad days to come.

 

Here are a few of my favorite “rules” outlined by Columbus and how I’m applying them to MY life as the possible Year of Infection looms ahead…

 

car locked zombieland #1 The Double Tap: Got your gun? No matter your politics or personal philosophies about gun use and ownership, it sure will be nice to have one when the zombies come…

#2 Cardio and #18 Limber Up: I’ve made a commitment to get healthy this year and it can’t happen without a few rounds of good ole exercise. I want to be able to outrun whatever wants to eat me.

#3 Beware of Bathrooms: I’ve seen what can be lurking behind the bathroom door, and it’s not pretty. I’m committed to passing on the dirty job of keeping a clean bathroom to the hubby.

#8 Get a Kick Ass Partner: I found mine 16 years ago.

#32 Enjoy the Little Things: Like sugar. And good treats. All in moderation, of course.supermarket zombieland

 

The Recipe: You don’t have to pay a gazillion dollars on EBay or travel half the country to recover the last Twinkie when you can bake your own! Undoubtedly, the homemade version tastes a bit cleaner, a bit lighter, and so much more delectable than the stale ones you are likely to find in some snack cake hoarder’s cabinet. In the case of a true zombie apocalypse occurring, I recommend you bake some every couple of months and freeze em. Just remember, defrost before filling them with the also hand-forged creamy marshmallow fluff.

Oh yeah, and you will need a Twinkie-shaped cavity pan to make these. They are popping up all over kitchen stores everywhere and can be found online. Give it a Google and see what you can find…

 

Tallahassee “Twinkie” Snack Cakes November 2012 033

(Fills 8 cavity pan )

Ingredients:

1cup + 2 Tbsp flour, 1 1/8 tsp baking powder (aluminum free, if you please), 1/4 tsp salt,  3/4 cup + 2 Tbsp sugar, ½ cup milk, 1 ½ tsp vanilla, 1 egg + 1 egg white, 1 stick butter (softened to room temp), 1 recipe Deadgirl Marshmallow Fluff, Twinkie-shaped cavity pan

 

How to Make em:

Note: If you don’t want a super snack cake snarly mess when you try to get them out of the pan, I highly recommend spraying the cavities thoroughly with baking spray and adding a touch of flour to each cavity. Also, do NOT overfill. This just causes major headaches. I speak from experience…

In a mixing bowl or bowl of standing mixer, beat together the butter and sugar with your hand mixer or stand mixer into a creamy submission. Add the egg and egg white and beat well. In another small bowl, pour together the milk and vanilla. In another medium bowl, sift together the dry boring stuff-flour, baking powder, and salt. Add the dry boring stuff alternately with the milk mix to the submissive creamed mix and continue mixing on low speed.

Fill the pan cavities barely ½ full and bake for about 12-15 minutes on 350 degrees. Cool for about 10 minutes in the pan and then remove to a wire rack to cool completely and fill with the fluff.

 

November 2012 034Deadgirl Marshmallow Fluff         

(Fills 8 Snack Cakes )

Ingredients:

1 ½ cup marshmallow fluff, 1 ¼ cup all-veggie shortening, 1 Tbsp vanilla, 1 cup powdered sugar, pastry bag and pastry filling tip

How to Make It:

In a mixing bowl or bowl of standing mixer, beat together the fluff and shortening with your hand mixer or stand mixer into a creamy submission. Switch to low speed and add the vanilla. Add the powdered sugar slowly and continuing beating into fluffy submission.

Fit your pastry a pastry filling tube. Once the snack cakes are completely cooled, fill each snack cake until you feel just a bit of resistance. You don’t want fluff bursting out the sides and top of your cake so experiment with the right amount of pressure with the greatest of care.

November 2012 029     Happy 2013 and remember to Enjoy the Little Things!

Slumber Party Massacre Event and Recipes Part 1

                                                        It was a Slumber Party Massacre at our place for Halloween.

      This year, I couldn’t wait to dig out this truly awesome 80’s gem of a slasher flick that inspired our annual Halloween party. This greatness graced my VCR back in 1982, and became a birthday party sleepover staple for years thereafter. I subjected my squeamish friends and younger cousins to plenty of good (and bad) horror, but I think this is the one that made the memory books. I know it always brings back “the good ole days” for me…

As I mentioned, we chose this as our Halloween party theme, but you could just as easily copy my ideas for any type of big girl slumber party/ horror movie night. I had so many cool ideas and great recipes going with this party that I had to break this blog into two sections. An original post that talks mostly of the party details and a sequel that will offer you some insight into what makes this film so righteous.

Invites: Aside from social media event creating, I looked high and low for some simple Slumber Party invitations that I could bloody up for this party, but eventually gave up and made my own. I just cut pink card stock into simple squares and rubber stamped an old vintage telephone image on the front. Okay, so the phone image totally invoked naughty memories of a few prank phone calls we made back in the day at some of my notorious sleepovers.

In the Massacre font on my handy computer, I typed the heading “This is no prank! You are invited to a Slumber Party Massacre.” and then scribed the party details on the back. Once the invitations were complete, I gave them each a good splattering of red tempera paint blood by just thinning the paint with water and tapping a small paint brush over them. (Being a preschool teacher has its perks when it comes to getting crafty).

What to Wear?  Duh. It’s a slumber party. Wear pajamas! We had a white trash hubby wear his stained wife beater under a dirty bathrobe and cowboy boots. We had “grown up” Superman underoos, a cute little Cindy Loo Who in pigtails, and the ultimate in dorky-Angry Bird full footie jammies. But if I do say so myself, I stole the party dressed in my Daryl Dixon pajamas. My ensemble was fully complimented with my homemade DD swag-crossbow earrings, zombie/crossbow bracelet, and zombie heart hair bows for my piggy tails.

Setting the Scene: I wanted a bloody mess! Everything that stood still was drenched in white vinyl tablecloths splattered with the red tempera blood I used on the invites. I even spent the cash on a blood splattered shower curtain for the bathroom. Our local dollar store had vinyl blood drip wall borders and various paper instruments of torture that I implemented into our gory décor. A good horror buddy of mine sent me a huge batch of chilling horror soundtracks to play, and I incorporated some of my 80’s stash to mix. After all, this is a movie of the 80’s.

I got my Daryl Dixon swag on…

White candles dripping blood, candy filled glassware smudged with bloody fingerprints, and blood soaked body parts scattered haphazardly along the table suggests the Driller Killer crashed the party. But the real prize was my sickening centerpiece-a stack of pizza boxes oozing with blood and body parts. Severed limb pizza anyone??  To pay homage to the holiday; the reason for the celebration, I slathered corn syrup-based blood over different sized pumpkins. And keep in mind, in my world, anything looks appetizing on a tattered blood-soaked tablecloth.

Corn Syrup Blood recipe: Add 1 small bottle of light corn syrup and 1 small bottle of dark corn syrup to a nonstick pot. Add an entire 2 ounce bottle of red food coloring, stirring with a wooden spoon. This makes a bright slasher movie red. If you want more gore, add about 12-20 drops of black food coloring and a couple drops of blue.

         

            Other Fun Stuff: We played Human Scavenger Hunt. I made a list of slumber party related statements and guests had to find people at the party that either agreed or matched the statement. Who has played Bloody Mary or a Ouija board, the lame person at the party who didn’t wear a costume, someone who had attended a slumber party before, someone who had made/eaten “special brownies”, etc. I took a lot of guidance from the movie and my own slumber party experiences when creating the list. Whoever had the most names on their paper was named winner.

Something else fun…I found Sweet Tart candy teeth and gummi body parts at Walmart of all places!

Snacks and Goodies: Reminiscing about food typically found at slumber parties and, of course, consulting the movie, I came up with a pretty gruesome and fun menu. Savory snacks included Pizza Crescent Rolls, Deadgirls in a Blanket, assorted chips and dips, and a popcorn bar featuring three flavors of popcorn-Bloody Mary, Apple Cinnamon, and Chocolate Caramel. Sweet treats included Driller Killer cupcakes, Root Beer Float pillow pies, Deadblondies, and Scary Berry Pizza. Our signature cocktail of the night was called Truth or Dare.  (You will find the recipe for Bloody Mary popcorn in an upcoming blog…muwahahahaha)

The Recipe: Deadblondies

See what I mean? Dead blonde…

Nothing says 80’s slasher flick than a bunch of dead blondes strewn around. I’ve deviated from the traditional blondie recipe to make more sinful and sensuous bars because aren’t the bad girls the ones that get hacked up first? The answer is yes, and these treats were the first to go…

Deadblondies

(Makes 24 naughty little treats)

Ingredients:

2 cups flour

2 cups brown sugar

½ tsp baking powder

¼ tsp salt

2 sticks (1cup) melted butter

2 eggs

2 tsp vanilla

1 cup chocolate English toffee baking bits (Heath brand sells these, but if you have trouble finding them simply add ½ cup regular toffee bits and ½ cup mini chocolate chips)

13×9” baking pan

How to Make Em:

Obligatory Reminder: Preheat your oven to 375 degrees.

1. Prep your baking pan with non stick spray or veggie shortening.

2. In a large bowl, stir together the hot melted butter with the brown sugar. Cool slightly.

3. Add the eggs and vanilla.

4. In a small bowl, mix together the boring white stuff: flour, salt, and baking powder.

5. Add the boring white stuff to the butter mix. Fold in the baking chips.

6. Spread evenly in the pan and bake for 30 minutes at 375 degrees.

*Cool and enjoy!

Deadblondies are dangerous close to the Severed Limb pizza.

The Recipe: Pizza Crescent Rolls

You can’t have a slumber party without something to do with pizza, but frozen pizza rolls from a bag are too unoriginal for a Deadgirl shindig. This simple variation is super easy and versatile as you can add whatever pizza toppings you’d like. I stuck with budget-friendly basics.

Pizza Crescent Rolls

(Makes 16 slumber party yummies)

Ingredients:

2 tubes of 8-count refrigerated crescent rolls

1 jar pizza sauce or 1 large can of tomato sauce

1 7ounce bag shredded mozzarella cheese

1 package pepperoni

1 small can diced black olives

1 small jar chopped mushrooms

Spices: garlic powder, onion powder, Italian seasoning (use these as desired to spice up your sauce)

2 cookie sheets, parchment paper

How to Make Em:

Obligatory Reminder: Preheat your oven to 350 degrees

1. Prep your pans by lining both cookie sheets with the parchment paper.

2. Add the pizza/tomato sauce to a small bowl. Add the spices to desired flavor. Set aside.

3. Crack open each tube, tear each piece of dough at the perforation, and unroll each crescent flat.

4. With a regular eating spoon, smear a spoonful of sauce across the dough.

5. Add a pinch of cheese, 1-2 pepperoni slices, a pinch of olive, and one sliced mushroom.

6. Roll according to tube directions. I just start at the large end and roll my way to the small end, and it works fine for me, but many people are anal and want to follow explicit directions. I then say-consult your tube.

7. Pop in the oven and bake for 15-20 mins or until lightly browned at 350 degrees.

*These are best served warm unless your crowd is partial to cold pizza.

The Recipe: Apple Cinnamon Popcorn

More dead action courtesy of The Driller Killer!

A scary movie night without popcorn is like a serial killer without a body count-pointless. But nobody wants to eat your boring white buttered popcorn either. I chose an unusual fall flavored recipe that is just as appropriate in February as it is in October. Giving credit where credit is due: This recipe was stolen from the Sandra Lee Semi-Homemade: 20 Minute Meals Part 2 cookbook, but added to the section titled Awesome Movie Night Popcorn in my recipe box.

Apple Cinnamon Popcorn

(Serves a whole freaking bunch)

Ingredients:

2 bags of microwave popcorn, popped and cooled ( I have the best luck with Pop Secret Homestyle brand)

1 ½ cups dried apple slices, finely chopped (too gooey for the food processor. Just do it by hand.)

4 Tbsp butter (1/4 cup)

3 Tbsp water

¾ cup brown sugar

2 tsp cinnamon

Bowl, saucepan, wooden spoon

How to Make It:

1. Sift your popcorn for any leftover unpopped kernels. Breaking your teeth on popcorn kernels may seem appropriate during a horror movie, but believe me, your friends will not like you for it, and you won’t like the dentist bill.

2. Combine the popped corn and the apple bits in a large bowl. Set aside.

3. In a regular saucepan, melt the butter.

4. When the butter is completely melted, add the brown sugar, water, and cinnamon. Bring it to a full boil. Cook and stir for about a minute.

5. Oh so carefully pour the molten hot mixture over the popcorn in the bowl. Use a wooden spoon to gently toss the mixture until well smothered.

*Choose your favorite horror movie and enjoy!

Okay, so that does it for Part 1. Tune in next time, kiddies, for more Slumber Party Massacre commentary and recipes!

The Amityville Horror: Butter Toffee Popcorn Beware!

This warm weather has me longing to slip into my flip-flops, pitch a tent, and tell spooky stories ‘round a campfire with my zomblings. It also has me ready to pull out my favorite summertime scary movies! It is true; I swap out my horror collection like I swap out cold season clothes for warm season clothes or oven comfort recipes for our favorite grilled dishes.

Like Halloween and Trick’r Treat are necessary autumn staples and Dead Snow and Black Christmas are great to make the season a-fright, the summer grows its own crop of cinematic creepiness. Just a few of my hot season favorites include Alfred Hitchcock’s Rear Window, Silver Bullet, Jaws, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (classic and new),  anything involving camp slashers (ahem, Friday the 13th and the Sleepaway Camp series), and The Amityville Horror (original only, please).

My Screen Rant: Flies congregating in the window, a growling disembodied voice that chases away your church friends, waking every morning at the house’s witching hour, 3:15am, by various frightening sounds and strange feelings, vanishing wads of cash, a biting statue, a ‘crazy’ bug ya just can’t shake, a closet door that is very babysitter-unfriendly, a terrifying pig-like imaginary friend that got left behind by the previous owner, black sludge spewing from toilets and faucets, blood oozing from the walls, and did I forget to mention the doorway to Hell hidden behind a basement wall? Owning a house built on an ancient Indian burial ground sure is a lot of drama for the Lutz family. But thankfully after only 28 days of total terror, they are able to flee the Amityville Horror. House for sale! Buyer Beware. Any takers?

The ultimate spook house

I’ve been obsessed with The Amityville Horror for pretty much my entire life. Back before the whole debacle was debunked, I watched the movie and read the book by Jay Anson. I was a wide-eyed believer in the voices in the house that told Ronald DeFeo Jr. to murder his entire family in their sleep within the symbolic hour of 3am. I similarly believed in the Lutz Family’s harrowing 28 days of horror in the house. I was fascinated by the events Kathy and George Lutz described on television talk shows and in the pages of the novel. Years later, as people began to surface with the real ‘truth’ and paranormal researchers kept turning up zilch for evidence on the property, the story began to crumple and fall apart-finally disintegrating into a whole pile of lies. I hated that it was a sham. It was an amazing ghost story, and I still held a shred of belief as to what really occurred there.

The Amityville Horror Movie poster

You see, there really was an Amityville Horror. Ronald DeFeo Jr. really did shoot his entire family in 1974, claiming he heard their voices plotting against him. Never mind he was a frequent user of heroin and LSD, and was diagnosed with an antisocial personality disorder?? There are also some sources claiming that DeFeo Jr. was a dabbler in the occult which I truly believe would also explain the “voices”. To me, that is frightening enough in itself. But DeFeo Jr.’s reasons were attached to him not the house. The Lutz family created one of the greatest American hauntings, but what occurred 13 months earlier is the true scare.

Interested in more? Pick up a copy of Ric Osuna’s book, The Night The DeFeos Died: Reinvestigating the Amityville Murders. No, it’s not as entertaining as Anson’s Amityville Horror paperback I revisit every couple of years, but it is quite interesting for the armchair sleuths.

The Recipe: No matter what scary movie you choose to curl up with on a stormy spring night, a bowl of popcorn should always be beside you. But why settle on just plain salt and butter when you can easily and affordably go gourmet. It wouldn’t be a Deadgirl recipe if it wasn’t sweet or indulgent, so count on a popcorn snack with plenty of gooey sticky goodness in homemade butter toffee sauce and loaded with yummy add-ins!

Butter Toffee Popcorn Beware

(Makes enough to feed a large scary movie crowd)

Ingredients:

1 ½ -2 cups popcorn kernels

Vegetable/Canola oil for popping the corn

10 Tbsp butter

1 cup brown sugar

½ cup light corn syrup

2 tsp butter extract

1/8 tsp salt

1 bag of Nestle’s Butterfinger Bites candy

1 1/2 cups honey roasted peanuts

How to Make It:

1. Pop the corn. Heat about 2 tbsp (or enough to cover the bottom of the pan) of oil. Add the kernels and the lid. As the kernels heat and you hear them begin to pop, gently shake the pan over the heat until the popping stops. Add the popcorn to two separate bowls to make it easier to mix.

2. In a saucepan, heat the butter, brown sugar, corn syrup, extract, and salt. Simmer, stirring frequently until the butter is melted and all ingredients are smooth. The toffee sauce will be thick.

3. Pour the sauce evenly over both batches of popcorn. Toss to coat. Divide the Butterfinger candy bites and peanuts equally into both batches. Toss.

4. Pop in your favorite scary movie and enjoy!

Oh hello, gooey sticky toffee goodness!

Friday the 13th Part 2: “Stabbed” Smores on a Stick and Jason Jewelry

We are in the presence of another Friday the 13th. I’ll be treating my Bible group (yep, you read right-my Bible group) to a campy Jason-inspired yummy. And this night I’ll also be servin’ up some ultra classy Voorhees bling alongside my goodies!

Some women want diamonds or other cutesy little baubles for their 15th wedding anniversary, but this Deadgirl prefers sweet slasher jewelry to jazz up her morbid attire. The earrings were a gift bought from The House of Mysterious Secrets, an amazingly cool web store full of horror-iffic goodies (www.houseofmysterioussecrets.com). The necklace I made myself with a simple black metal chain, a circular pendant frame, and a favorite photo sliced to fit.

It would be sacrilegious to NOT watch a Friday the 13th flick on Friday the 13th. As a little appetizer to the main hoorah-I’m watching the first in the never-ending series to feature my fierce man, Jason, Friday the 13th Part 2. Hungry for someCampBlood gore? Nosh on a few of the fun movie facts I’ve collected for you before settling in for a viewing of Jason’s first kills…

**The sequel to the surprising box office success was hastily put out almost an exact year later on Friday, May 1st, 1981. So someone else was doin’ it before the Screams, Final Destinations, Saws, and Paranormal Activities…

**Unsurprisingly, the movie hit Numero Uno opening weekend. Duh. We are talking American Movie Classics here.

**The gurus of the movie actually dabbled with the idea of creating an entirely different plot line for the sequel. It is reported that they wanted to kill off the “Stalker Jason avenging his slain mother” model for a superstitious “something different always happens on Friday the 13th” concept. WHAT!? Sorry, but I just couldn’t imagine a Friday the 13th without my unstoppable masked madman, and with all the gazillions of dollars he’s made the movie-makers over the last twenty years, I’m sure they are glad they forfeited the latter idea, too.

**Jason popped his killing cherry in this movie with 10 gruesome murders, matching his momma corpse for corpse. He utilized many weapons including the infamous machete, some barbed wire, a pitchfork, and even his own bare hands! Pretty darn impressive for your first time in the slaughtering trenches, Mr. Voorhees.

**The mask Jason wore in the sequel was not his trademark hockey mask. That didn’t make its first appearance until the third movie. First, Jason donned a creepy burlap sack hood clearly copied from the killer in The Town that Dreaded Sundown.

**About 48 seconds of a gory double impalement was cut in order to avoid an X rating. My, my, how the times have changed. That would be what-a PG-13 rating these days???

The Recipe: Don’t gotta knife handy? Neither did Jason most of the time. Get creative with your implements of horror in the kitchen. Stab a sweet, unsuspecting marshmallow with a lollipop stick, drown it in velvety milk chocolate ganache, and smother it with crunchy crushed honey graham crackers for the ultimate easy Friday the 13th treat. No campfire required!!

“Stabbed” Smores on a Stick

(Makes about 45-50 campfire treats)

Ingredients:

1 bag of large marshmallows

1 cup milk chocolate chips

2/3 cup heavy whipping cream

1 package from a box of honey graham crackers (crushed by a violent rolling pin)

45-50 white wooden lollipop sticks (found in Walmart or other cool cake decorating stores)

Cookie sheets & wax paper

How to Make Em:

1. Prep the cookie sheet by adding a layer of wax paper to it. Crush your graham crackers into fine crumbs by giving them a few rough rolls with a rolling pin right in their package. Add the crushed crumbs to a shallow dish for dipping/rolling.

2. Stab each marshmallow with a stick. Careful not to get too overzealous there, killa. You don’t want ends sticking out. It’s not a Smores kabob.

3. Make the ganache: In a small saucepan, combine the chocolate chips and the cream. Stir obsessively on low heat until the combination is melty smooth.

4. Dip the stabbed marshmallows in the warm ganache and immediately smother with cracker crumbs.

5. Place the Smores sticks on wax paper cookie sheets to set.

**I put mine in the fridge to cool because we love this yummy cold, but you can eat them as you dip em, if that’s how you like em! They are horror-iffic any way!!

The Lost Boys: Grandpa’s Root Beer Whoopie Pies and Oreo Truffles

                             Sleep all day. Party all night. It’s fun to be a vampire. And eat treats…
                                                                                                               lost boys movie poster
     License to Drive, Dream a Little Dream, Lucas, Murphy’s Romance, Watchers, Blown Away, Shark City, Demolition High, and Silver Bullet-if you were a boy-crazed girl of the 80’s and 90’s, you may guess what all these films have in common; besides relatively interesting soundtracks.
            Corey Haim. You know, The Haimster; the Canadian actor that catapulted to teen stardom alongside his more subdued sidekick, Corey C-Dog Feldman. (It’s actually kind of sick that I can remember their nicknames).
      Truthfully, I really adored Corey Feldman just as much as his partner in Hollywood crime. After all, he did take down Jason Voorhees in Friday the 13th Part 4, battled pesky Gremlins, and befriended Sloth in The Goonies. But Corey Haim *insert dreamy sigh* was simply more adorable, more stylish, had the great hair, and was just plain fun to watch in movies. No matter how bad *ahem Just One of the Girls*.  
                                                                                                       frog bros
            Even if you weren’t a fan of the dynamic teen duo, if you were a horror and/or vampire fan in the 80’s, you were inevitably sucked into The Lost Boys. Bad boy teen vamps emulating Peter Pan’s tribe of lost boys carrying the mantra “Sleep all day. Party all night. Never grow old. Never die. It’s fun to be a vampire.” Corey Haim’s role as total 80’s fashion victim Sam, was one of his greatest shining moments, and I’m not just saying that because it’s a horror movie. (Although that does help).
            Before and after, Haim continued to flirt with the horror genre. He starred in an awesome werewolf movie, Silver Bullet, based off a short story by Stephen King and a teen slasher film, Fever Lake.
          But my fan-atic heart always leads me straight back to The Lost Boys.
    plotting Some of its quirks-The screwball vampire hunter brothers, Edgar and Allan Frog (named in honor of the novelist Edgar Allan Poe); the poster of a seductively posed Rob Lowe hanging on Sam’s wall that makes me go “hmmm” every time I watch it; and Grandpa-whose only complaint about Santa Carla is all the damn vampires.
            Sadly, Corey Haim passed away on this day three years ago. Although I wasn’t a fan of his comeback reality show, I still considered the movies of his younger and wilder past iconic to my youth. And he was, after all, a brother in horror. In remembrance to him and (in my humble opinion) one of his best films, I present a couple goodies to die for, Grandpa’s Root Beer Whoopie Pies and Oreo truffles. Hunh? What’s the connection?
grandpa
The Recipes: One of Grandpa’s rules specifically explained to Michael and Sam included hands off his root beer and Double Stuffed Oreo cookies. The Lost Boys lived by the creed “rules were made to be broken”, and I did just that with these indulgent and easy-to-make treats. My version of the creamy, guilty cookie balls are dipped in svelte almond bark and sprinkled with the remains of crumbly Oreos. The whoopie pies are like vanilla pillows stuffed with feather light root beer-y cream, and they really are the next best thing to a frothy root beer float! Got milk everyone??
Oreo Truffles
(Makes at least 2 dozen, depending on how big you make em)
Ingredients:
1 standard package of regular Oreo cookies
1 8ounce cream cheese-room temperature (no low fat. That really defeats the purpose of these treats).
1 pd block of almond bark
Wax paper and a large freezer sturdy Ziploc bag
2 cookie sheets and a rolling pin
How to make em:
1. Place all of the cookies in the large Ziploc bag. Using a rolling pin, brutally crush and roll over the cookies until nothing but crumbs remain.
2. Add all but about 3 Tbsp of the cookies to a large mixing bowl along with the softened cream cheese. (The remains will be used in the topping).
3. By hand, mix the cookies into the cream cheese until a mushy dough forms.
4. Roll the cookie dough into balls (anywhere from 1-3” depending on the size you desire. Of course, you will have more truffles the smaller they are made).
5. Place the cookie balls onto wax paper covered cookie sheets. Flash freeze the truffles for about 5-6 minutes until just firm.
6. Meanwhile, melt the almond bark according to package directions until creamy.
7. Immerse each truffle into the hot melted coating using a spoon or cool dipping fork. (I own one and they are neat!)
8. Sprinkle all the coated truffles with the remaining cookie crumbs and refrigerate for later enjoyment.
Root Beer Float Whoopie Pies
Vanilla Whoopie Cakes
(Makes a dozen 4” pies or 2 dozen 2” pies)
Ingredients:
1 stick (1/2 c) butter (room temp, please)
1 large egg
1 tsp vanilla (the purest you can get. No imitation allowed).
1 c buttermilk
2 1/3 c flour
1 c sugar
1 ¼ tsp baking soda
1/8 tsp salt
Cookie sheets and parchment paper or a whoopie pie pan; cookie scoop
How to make em:
Obligatory Reminder: Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Line cookie sheets with parchment paper. If you are using a whoopie pie pan, grease em down.
1. Using a hand mixer or stand mixer w/paddle attachment, cream together the butter, sugar, and vanilla into light and fluffy submission. Add the egg.
2. In a separate bowl, add together the flour, baking soda, and salt.
3. Add the flour mix to the creamed mix until just combined. Add the buttermilk.
Tip: Do not overbeat the batter unless you want stony, tough pillow pies.
4. Using a cookie scoop, add the batter by the scoopful, leaving 2” of space between each cake. They will spread a bit.
5. Bake at 375 degrees for 8-11 minutes. They will be firm to the touch. Transfer the cakes to a wire rack immediately.
6. When the cakes are completely cooled, match up whoopie halves and fill with root beer filling. Yum!
Root Beer Marshmallow Filling:
Ingredients:
½ c vegetable shortening
2/3 c Marshmallow Fluff
1-2 c powdered sugar
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
½ tsp root beer extract
4 Tbsp root beer (I make mine with Mugs)
Pastry bag and large star tip for piping in the filling OR just a spoon
How to Make Em:
1. With a hand mixer or stand mixer with paddle attachment, cream together the shortening and the Marshmallow Fluff into a creamy submission.
2. On low speed, gradually add the powdered sugar until just combined.
3. Add all the liquids. Beat another 3 minutes on medium speed.
4. Test for consistency. You may need to add a few tablespoons of powdered sugar if your filling is to unstable or runny.
Tip: I make the filling the night before assembling the pies. This settling period gives the root beer time to mingle and I get a more intense root beer flavor. Your choice. Just saying.
5. Add the filling to a pastry bag decked out with a large star tip. Pipe the filling on the inside of half of each pie for a polished presentation.
6. Top with the other vanilla pie half. Squish and enjoy!
Until next time…Stay Spooky, my fiends!

Ghost Adventures & Paranormal State: White Chocolate Kahlua Fondue

Ghost Hunters, Ghost Adventures, Celebrity Ghost Stories, Ghost Hunters Academy, Most Haunted USA, Ghost Lab, My Ghost Story, Paranormal State, A Haunting….we are inundated with paranormal reality tv. Some might consider that an oxymoron (paranormal and reality side by side), but I don’t.
            In fact, I like it. I like that I can flip on my TV any night of the week and find something haunting the screen. Although it is turning me into quite the couch slouch. I’ll admit, I’ve watched more television in the past two years than in the last decade I’m sure, but that’s primarily due to the (finally) awesome paranormal and horror shows out there. Ghosts, serial killers, zombies, vamps and wolves, oh my! Anyway, I digress.
            I’m going to step out of my comfort zone and be completely transparent now (no pun intended). I really enjoy watching stories about paranormal research, but I don’t necessarily agree with every research team’s practices or beliefs about the paranormal. Mainly, because I’m an unapologetic Christian that holds tight to the belief the dead do not walk among the living and mostly because I’ve experienced the supernatural from a much darker side. You may be thinking that doesn’t make any sense. How can someone believe in their experiences with ghosts without actually believing in ghosts? Simply put, I think it’s all bad news. It’s much more insidious than that. I don’t think the apparition you see standing beside your bed is truly Grandma Mabel coming back with a reassuring “I’m okay now” message. Nor do I think the strange noises you hear down the hall are being made by the former resident that hung himself in the cellar. I know most paranormal researchers would argue vehemently with my perspective, and that’s fine. It makes for an interesting discussion.
            My screen rant: Presently, my two favorite paranormal reality shows are Ghost Adventures and Paranormal State. They are both so totally opposite in their approach and their casts couldn’t be any more different, but I love them both equally. I’ve been watching wacky Zack and the boys on Ghost Adventures since it first aired several years ago. I’m entertained by the almost over the top drama, the around-the-campfire narrated back stories of each location, and the constant barrage of ghostly activity that always seems to freak the guys out more than it does me. My favorite episode is definitely their visit to the Villisca Axe Murder House in Villisca, Iowa, because of my own personal experiences in that house. About Paranormal State, I respect the research group’s dedication and seriousness when it comes to their investigations. I think that Ryan and his team truly care about the people they interact with, and I also think Ryan puts more stock into the spiritual side of the paranormal than most others I’ve watched. Sadly, I just recently found out on founder Ryan Buell’s blog that he’s leaving the show. I know I’ll miss his sweet smile, his thoughtful drone, and his contribution to this so very intriguing subject. He announced it back in January. I should really keep up on my blogs.
            I could write an entire novel on my experiences with the supernatural. I do intend on sharing many of my real life “ghost” stories, but if I gave away everything at once, what would keep readers coming back? Oh, yeah. The recipes. Duh.
The Recipe: Light in color, but heavy on indulgence; this subtly liquor-spiked fondue will be quick to disappear. Much like the entity standing at the end of your bed…muwahahaha
Ghostly White Chocolate Kahlua Fondue
(roughly 12 servings)
12 ounces white chocolate (chopped into small pieces with a sharp blade)
¾ C whipping cream
3 Tbsp Kahlua (you can add more if you want a bolder Kahlua creamy flavor)
Yummy things to dip: pound cake chunks, strawberries, seedless grapes, glazed and chocolate doughnut holes, shortbread cookies, pretzels
Add the dismembered chocolate pieces to a heat-proof bowl. In your small saucepan, medium heat the whipping cream until it is just about to boil. Pour the hot cream over the chocolate pieces. Stir with a rubber spatula until the chocolate is smooth and silky. Stir in your Kahlua until completely incorporated. Transfer your awesome fondue to a small Crockpot to keep warm. You can also cover this fondue with plastic wrap and keep in the fridge until you are ready to warm it up and serve it up. Don’t forget to add plenty of yummy things to dip with your disappearing fondue!