Happy Friday the 13th! Regretfully, it is our final Friday the 13th of the year. So, it’s only fitting that we should travel back the path to Camp Crystal Lake circa 1984 for Friday the 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter.
Another summer another killing spree for my man, Jason Voorhees. He’s on his way home after being inexplicably resurrected in the hospital morgue. Lucky for him, a new group of oblivious youngsters have rented a cabin near Camp Crystal Lake straight across from the friendly Jarvis household. Too bad Jason isn’t quite as neighborly. He acquaints himself with his new neighbors rather savagely. Some might call it bad manners to plant a machete in another guy’s face before introducing yourself. I call it just another Friday the 13th!
My Screen rant: It’s no secret. Part 4 is my favorite installment in the series. It was released April 13th, 1984, topping the box office at #1 (of course) with an outstanding death toll of 14!! This was the first time in any of the many movies that I was divided on who I wanted to survive and who I absolutely needed to see bite it. I suppose today I could call it my Fantasy Camp Crystal Lake Survivors team…Team Live: The lovesick crooner, Doug, and his sweet, virginal Sarah; vengeful Rob out to do Jason some justice (haha, as if); the entire Jarvis Family (come on, they were cute), and yes-even that dork, Jimmy. I figured if he survived he could be on Dancing with the Stars: Camp Crystal Lake Survivors Edition.
Team Dead: Pervert Axel and Nurse EasyPants; the B-rated Doublemint Twins, 2-timing Paulie, Ted and really…anyone else remaining outside of my Team Live picks.
If you’d like to see the results of my choices, you’ll just have to pop in the movie. And while you’re up, you can make a killer treat to go with this bloody masterpiece.
The Recipe: Here in my neck of the woods, we’ve been reaching temps above 100 degrees. Nobody wants to turn on an oven. So, I’ve concocted a super simple no-bake snack; a new indulgent spin on an old classic cereal bar. Hey Hollywood isn’t the only one cranking out remakes! To tie in my favorite masked serial killer, I molded homemade fondant into his iconic hockey mask to make my own version of a Cereal Killer. Ki-ki-ki-ma-ma-ma-
Tip: For future reference, you can make the fondant and create the masks a few days in advance. Tightly smother your prepared fondant in plastic wrap and store your masks in closed-lid containers at room temp.
(Makes 12-24 killer treats depending on how you slash em)
6 cups crisped rice cereal (I use the reliable Rice Krispies)
1 cup creamy peanut butter
1 cup sugar
1 cup light corn syrup
1 cup chocolate chips
1 cup butterscotch chips
How to Make Em:
Obligatory reminder: Sticky alert! Prep your pan!! Spray a 9×13” baking pan with non-stick baking spray even though you aren’t baking.
1. In a large saucepan, heat and stir the peanut butter, sugar, and corn syrup until the sugar has dissolved completely.
2. Remove from the heat and add the cereal, one cup at a time, stirring until it is completely coated.
3. Spray your hands generously with baking spray and press the cereal mixture into the pan.
4. After washing your hands, microwave the butterscotch and chocolate chips for about a minute until just melted. Keep your eye on the process. You DO NOT want scorched chocolate. It’s terrible to deal with.
5. Stir the chips until smooth and spreadable. Spread the melted mixture atop the cereal mix and allow to set at room temperature for about 30 mins before cutting into.
6. Garnish with a tasty hockey mask and enjoy the mayhem of Friday the 13th Part 4!!
**Truth be told, I despise the taste of traditional boxed or bakery fondant. I use it strictly for decorating purposes only. However, I’ve got a recipe that takes the nasty edge off, and gives my decorations some yummy flavor while still being stable enough to mold into cool designs.
(You can get about 10-12 fiendish decos out of this recipe, but if you are thinking of covering a cake with this recipe, please double the batch)
2 cups mini marshmallows
2 tsp vanilla
2 tablespoons water
3-4 cups powdered sugar
Shortening, non-stick spray, hand/stand mixer
How to Make It:
1. Prep a microwaveable bowl by giving it a good rub down with vegetable shortening. Heat the marshmallows, vanilla, and water in the bowl for about 40 seconds. I wait until I see the marshmallows fluffing and then I pull it out and give it a few good stirs to make the mixture smooth and pourable.
2. Give your hand/stand mixer’s beaters a good spray down with nonstick spray. Combine the marshmallow mix and the powdered sugar into a large bowl or bowl of your stand mixer. Blend on low until you see a nice dough forming.
Tip: If the mixture appears to dry you can add teaspoons of water until you get the best consistency. If the dough does not solidify, keep adding powdered sugar by the ¼ cup.
3. Plop your dough on a well powdered sugar surface or your cool overpriced silicone mat. Knead it with your sugary dusted hands until you are ready to slash your masks! Remember to follow my fondant storage tip above for any leftovers!!
Fondant Hockey Masks
Supplies: Fondant, craft knife or overpriced fondant tools, edible markers in black and red
1. Assuming your fondant is made or purchased-roll it out thin enough to cut but thick enough to work with.
2. Using your fancy schmancy fondant cutting tool OR a handy craft knife you reserve for food crafting, cut as many masks as you want/can (almost a heart shape, but not quite; follow my visual or look one up online).
3. Give a tiny pinch where the nose of the mask will be.
4. Using edible markers, add nostril holes, eye holes, a mouth hole, and random other venting holes to your masks. The red marker makes great blood smears, especially right where Jason gets slammed by a machete!
5. Allow a few minutes to dry before adding to your treats.