Leprechaun: Guinness Gold Cupcakes, Unlucky Charms, & Evil Leprechaun Cocktail

 lep-thefuntimesguide

Try as they will, and try as they might, whoever steals his gold won’t live through the night.

            According to well-known Irish folklore, leprechauns are mischievous, smooth talking, devious little tricksters. They like their fun, but they also work hard, hammering out shoe after shoe for their elfin employers. They receive gold coins for their pay, and the coin crocks are secretly stashed away from the likes of greedy humans.

Also, it is written that to catch a leprechaun is already difficult, but to keep him captive and get his treasure is just almost downright impossible. If you are lucky enough to do so, it is advised to keep an unbreakable gaze upon him. For if you don’t, the wee man will surely vanish.

Of course, there are other ways one can try to obtain a leprechaun’s treasures. Follow him to the end of a rainbow. Bait a trap with a few faux coins. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll be luck enough to land yourself some loot.

Unfortunately, that didn’t quite work out for Dan O’Grady. In 1993’s schlocky horror film, Leprechaun, Mr. O’Grady caught a wee fellow and his gold, but Dan soon discovered his luck had run out…

leprechaun movie poster

Really, I love Leprechaun for all its badness. Bad dialogue, bad acting from a supporting cast, and bad typecasting of leprechaun folklore all blended into one. The best of the worst is the bad death scene. You know; the one involving a homicidal leprechaun on a pogo stick spewing demented limericks while bouncing across someone’s chest. That’s my wheresmygold movifancentralfave! happy evil lep

But you can’t celebrate another St. Patrick’s Day without, at some point, tuning in to this golden stone and rooting for the little bad guy. To go along with this mandatory viewing, I’ve concocted some goodies to die for that correlate with some of my favorite lines from the movie!

The Recipes:

“I’ll not rest til I have me gold. Curse this well that me soul shall dwell til I find me magic that breaks me spell.” –The Leprechaun

IMG_0911

Guinness Gold Cupcakes with Irish Butterscream Frosting

*These deep crocks of chocolate spiked with dark, stout beer are good as gold. Topped with an adults-only hand-forged Irish ButterScream and a generous heap of gold sugar, they make fairly effective Leprechaun bait!

Ingredients: (Makes 18-24 irresistible treasures)

1 cup baking cocoa, 2 cups sugar, 2 ¾ cups cake flour, 1 tsp baking soda, 1 tsp baking powder, ¼ tsp salt, 4 eggs, 2 sticks butter (softened), 2 cups Guinness beer, 1 tsp pure vanilla extract. For frosting: 1 stick butter (soft), 1/3 cup Bailey’s Irish cream, 1/8 tsp salt, 4-5 cups powdered sugar (depending on how thick you’d like it), gold sugar sprinkles.

Equipment/materials: Gold cupcake liners, 2 cupcake pans, hand/stand mixer, pastry bag fitted with metal tip #2D or spreader

How To Make Em:

Cupcakes: Line cupcake pans with the liners. Give each a squirt of nonstick baking spray. Nothing too dramatic.

Cook and stir the beer and cocoa powder over medium heat. Stir constantly for about 2-3 minutes until the mixture is nice and smooth. Allow this to cool.

Using your hand/stand mixer, beat the butter and sugar into creamy submission. Add your eggs.

In a separate small bowl, sift together the boring stuff-flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt.

Alternately, add the boring flour stuff and the cocoa beer to the creamed mixture. Start and end with your boring flour stuff. Stir in the vanilla.

Fill each cupcake cavity about 2/3 full. Bake for 15 mins on 350 degrees. (Cupcakes should come out clean with a center tester). Meanwhile, make the frosting.

Frosting: Using your hand/stand mixer, beat the butter, salt, and Irish cream into creamy submission. Slowly add the powdered sugar until smooth and your desired consistency. This will frost all 18-24 cupcakes!

Frost the cooled cupcakes using a spreader or metal tip pastry bag. Generously sprinkle with tons of gold sugar! (And prepare for plenty of compliments on your yummy creation!)

IMG_0904Hey, Lep! F*** You, Lucky Charms!” –Alex

Unlucky Charms Bars

*This is a gimmicky version of that favorite crisped rice cereal bar you may remember from your younger days. Except, I Leprechauned it up for you by replacing boring, bland crisped rice cereal with sugar-coated marshmallow-infused goodness.  Now you can have your old childhood cereal and eat it too!

Ingredients: (Makes 12-16 charms)

4 Tbsp butter, 1 bag of large marshmallows, 7 cups Lucky Charms cereal

Equipment/Materials: 9×13 baking pan

How to Make em: Prep your baking pan with nonstick baking spray.

In a large pot on the stove, melt the butter. Add the marshmallows, stirring until they are melted and smooth. Remove from heat. Add the cereal a cup at a time until it is completely covered in melty marshmallow butter. Spoon out into your baking pan and gently-with the slightest touch-press into the pan. Allow to set. Cover to keep them fresh.

Note: The slight touch will give you soft crunchiness that won’t break your teeth out at first bite!

Tip: You can liven them up even more by adding flavored marshmallows. This time of year there are lots of choices for pastel marshmallow flavors!

IMG_0909Evil Leprechaun Cocktail

“That thing is a leprechaun, and we’ve gotta find a way to stop it.”-Tory

*Ah, a naughty, creamy libation depicting all the qualities of the iconic Irish leprechaun. It’s fun, it’s quirky, it disappears quickly, and it’s loaded with drink. But the addition of ice cream turns it totally sinful!!

Ingredients: (Makes 1 evil cocktail)

3 ounces cold coffee, 1 ounce Irish whiskey, ½ ounce Kahlua, ½ ounce Bailey’s Irish cream, 3 scoops of vanilla ice cream, and 2 cups crushed ice

Equipment/Materials: blender

How to Make It: Add all the ingredients to the blender, including the crushed ice. Give it a few spins on blend until well blended. I give it a few rounds on liquefy just to get those bigger ice chunks to size. Blend to your tastes. Pour into a serving glass and garnish with a cute flag like I did!

Tip: If you must have it green, substitute mint chip ice cream  for the vanilla ice cream.

              Until next time…Stay spooky, my fiends. And stalk The Horror Congress regularly.

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Friday the 13th Part 4: Cereal Killers

Happy Friday the 13th! Regretfully, it is our final Friday the 13th of the year. So, it’s only fitting that we should travel back the path to Camp Crystal Lake circa 1984 for Friday the 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter.

Another summer another killing spree for my man, Jason Voorhees. He’s on his way home after being inexplicably resurrected in the hospital morgue. Lucky for him, a new group of oblivious youngsters have rented a cabin near Camp Crystal Lake straight across from the friendly Jarvis household. Too bad Jason isn’t quite as neighborly. He acquaints himself with his new neighbors rather savagely. Some might call it bad manners to plant a machete in another guy’s face before introducing yourself. I call it just another Friday the 13th!

Honey, I”m home!

My Screen rant: It’s no secret. Part 4 is my favorite installment in the series. It was released April 13th, 1984, topping the box office at #1 (of course) with an outstanding death toll of 14!! This was the first time in any of the many movies that I was divided on who I wanted to survive and who I absolutely needed to see bite it. I suppose today I could call it my Fantasy Camp Crystal Lake Survivors team…Team Live: The lovesick crooner, Doug, and his sweet, virginal Sarah; vengeful Rob out to do Jason some justice (haha, as if); the entire Jarvis Family (come on, they were cute), and yes-even that dork, Jimmy. I figured if he survived he could be on Dancing with the Stars: Camp Crystal Lake Survivors Edition. 

And he was such a good singer…

Team Dead: Pervert Axel and Nurse EasyPants; the B-rated Doublemint Twins, 2-timing Paulie, Ted and really…anyone else remaining outside of my Team Live picks.

He REALLY had it comin’

If you’d like to see the results of my choices, you’ll just have to pop in the movie. And while you’re up, you can make a killer treat to go with this bloody masterpiece.

The Recipe: Here in my neck of the woods, we’ve been reaching temps above 100 degrees. Nobody wants to turn on an oven. So, I’ve concocted a super simple no-bake snack; a new indulgent spin on an old classic cereal bar. Hey Hollywood isn’t the only one cranking out remakes! To tie in my favorite masked serial killer, I molded homemade fondant into his iconic hockey mask to make my own version of a Cereal Killer. Ki-ki-ki-ma-ma-ma-

Tip: For future reference, you can make the fondant and create the masks a few days in advance. Tightly smother your prepared fondant in plastic wrap and store your masks in closed-lid containers at room temp.

Cereal Killers

(Makes 12-24 killer treats depending on how you slash em)

Ingredients:

6 cups crisped rice cereal (I use the reliable Rice Krispies)

1 cup creamy peanut butter

1 cup sugar

1 cup light corn syrup

1 cup chocolate chips

1 cup butterscotch chips

How to Make Em:

Obligatory reminder: Sticky alert! Prep your pan!! Spray a 9×13” baking pan with non-stick baking spray even though you aren’t baking.

1. In a large saucepan, heat and stir the peanut butter, sugar, and corn syrup until the sugar has dissolved completely.

2. Remove from the heat and add the cereal, one cup at a time, stirring until it is completely coated.

3. Spray your hands generously with baking spray and press the cereal mixture into the pan.

4. After washing your hands, microwave the butterscotch and chocolate chips for about a minute until just melted. Keep your eye on the process. You DO NOT want scorched chocolate. It’s terrible to deal with.

5. Stir the chips until smooth and spreadable. Spread the melted mixture atop the cereal mix and allow to set at room temperature for about 30 mins before cutting into.

6. Garnish with a tasty hockey mask and enjoy the mayhem of Friday the 13th Part 4!!

 

**Truth be told, I despise the taste of traditional boxed or bakery fondant. I use it strictly for decorating purposes only. However, I’ve got a recipe that takes the nasty edge off, and gives my decorations some yummy flavor while still being stable enough to mold into cool designs. 

Deadgirl Fondant

(You can get about 10-12 fiendish decos out of this recipe, but if you are thinking of covering a cake with this recipe, please double the batch)

Ingredients:

2 cups mini marshmallows

2 tsp vanilla

2 tablespoons water

3-4 cups powdered sugar

Shortening, non-stick spray, hand/stand mixer

How to Make It:

1. Prep a microwaveable bowl by giving it a good rub down with vegetable shortening. Heat the marshmallows, vanilla, and water in the bowl for about 40 seconds. I wait until I see the marshmallows fluffing and then I pull it out and give it a few good stirs to make the mixture smooth and pourable.

2. Give your hand/stand mixer’s beaters a good spray down with nonstick spray. Combine the marshmallow mix and the powdered sugar into a large bowl or bowl of your stand mixer. Blend on low until you see a nice dough forming.

Tip: If the mixture appears to dry you can add teaspoons of water until you get the best consistency. If the dough does not solidify, keep adding powdered sugar by the ¼ cup.

3. Plop your dough on a well powdered sugar surface or your cool overpriced silicone mat. Knead it with your sugary dusted hands until you are ready to slash your masks! Remember to follow my fondant storage tip above for any leftovers!!

Fondant Hockey Masks

Supplies: Fondant, craft knife or overpriced fondant tools, edible markers in black and red

1. Assuming your fondant is made or purchased-roll it out thin enough to cut but thick enough to work with.

2. Using your fancy schmancy fondant cutting tool OR a handy craft knife you reserve for food crafting, cut as many masks as you want/can (almost a heart shape, but not quite; follow my visual or look one up online).

3. Give a tiny pinch where the nose of the mask will be.

4. Using edible markers, add nostril holes, eye holes, a mouth hole, and random other venting holes to your masks. The red marker makes great blood smears, especially right where Jason gets slammed by a machete!

5. Allow a few minutes to dry before adding to your treats.

Trick ‘R Treat: Tricks and Treats

     Tomorrow is Halloween!!
       Oh bummer. I mean, does it really have to end so soon? We’ve been having so much fun, Halloween season and I, with our horror movie marathons, our gallons of crock pot apple cider and Creepy Masquerade party preparations, and our trips to various scary Halloween attractions.
      The night before Halloween, I typically feel compelled to cuddle up under a warm blanket with my corpse groom and watch a holiday movie. I generally settle in for the original John Carpenter Halloween, but I’ve added a new favorite just in the last couple of years. Trick ‘r Treat. Bloody awesome.
  My Screen Rant: I appreciate the originality. Remakes have become an open cesspool stinking up the genre. I’ll admit I don’t mind some of them, but when remakes of remakes (ahem The Thing) are being pushed out just to satisfy the October movie season, it gets tiresome. But I may never get tired of Trick’r Treat. It’s everything I adore about the holiday put into film. For instance, a scary town legend becomes terrifyingly real; the pumpkin carving experience goes grisly; a Halloween bonfire goes from fun to fiendish, and some freaky surprises await behind a particularly creepy candy-giver’s door. The entire story intertwines, and the trick is to see how everyone and everything is related. The treat is the little punkinhead, Sam (short for Samhain, of course, and awfully reminiscent of The Creep from Creepshow), scurrying from tale to tale, reeking havoc on anyone daring enough to blow out a jack-o-lantern before the holiday is truly over. The movie is really great gory fun! I can’t wait to pop up my corn and pour yet another mug of steaming cider.
            How are you commemorating 2011’s Halloween?
            The Recipe: Trick or Treats are a quick and easy Halloween snack; the perfect answer for the last-minute “what do I make/bring?” question. The trick is getting the goopy sticky mix off your spoon, your fingers, or your chin after you’ve shoved a hunk in your kisser. The treat is the flawless combination of chocolate and peanut butter that makes everything, including crisped rice cereal, taste like a Halloween night. The addition of fall hued Reese’s Pieces peanut butter candies make it look like Halloween, too!
Trick or Treats
(Makes about 2 dozen treats)
13×9” pan
¼ c butter
1 (10oz bag) marshmallows
2/3 c creamy peanut butter
6 c chocolate crisped rice cereal (I only use Kellogg’s Cocoa Krispies-anything else and you’ll be sorry)
A 1pd bag of candy-coated peanut butter pieces (Reese’s Pieces. Duh)
Prep your pan with non-stick spray.
In a large saucepan, melt the butter over low heat. (You want it to melt not burn). Add marshmallows and stir an excruciating amount of time until they are completely melted. Add the peanut butter, stirring well. Remove from heat to avoid scorching. Add the cereal, stirring well to really get the chocolate mixed in with its soul mate, the peanut butter. Finally, add in the candies. Butter up your hands and press the sticky mixture evenly into the pan. (I don’t press too hard or pack the treats too firmly in the pan because I like a treat I won’t break my teeth on.)
Trick or Treats by DeadGirlBaking
            **The spooky season may be coming to a close, but the baking season has really just begun for me in my dark haunted kitchen. Halloween may be departing from me at midnight Tuesday, but It leaves behind many great fright films to reminisce about and many more to watch as days go on.